Sometimes I have problems with exercise procrastination. I admit it. But my little chickadees that’s nothing compared to my problems with procrastinating on my writing projects. No matter how well prepared I am. No matter how much research I’ve done. When I face that blank screen in the morning I freak the f#$% out! I think I’m a pretty good writer. I don’t hate it once I start. But you just couldn’t believe the number of things I can find to do before I get started. I think I’m the world champion Sudoku player and I have amassed ridiculously huge virtual fortunes playing online Texas Hold ‘Em. You can always tell when a writing deadline is looming because my house is totally clean, my spices are alphabetized in the drawer, and my socks are sorted by color, type and condition. My husband calls these my L.O.S.T. days—an acronym which stands for Lots Of Silly Things. He knows if he comes home and the baseboards are scrubbed and I’m serving an eight-course meal complete with molded sugar desserts and life-sized ice sculptures that there’s a good chance I’ve had a L.O.S.T. day. And today started out as one of those days. I finished all the laundry. I organized the sock drawer. I cleaned the gunk in the grout lines on the kitchen counter. Yup, definitely and decidedly L.O.S.T.
I’ve suffered with this particular form of procrastination all my life and I can only come to one conclusion. This type of procrastination is about fear—mostly fear of failure. Because, somehow I believe in my head that I can’t fail with stuff I haven’t started yet. From a logical standpoint this is completely ridiculous. In truth, the only way to guarantee failure is to never start or never try. But as logical as that whole have to begin to win idea is, I find myself in loops of painful procrastination. Thankfully, today I got out of the loop after about 2 hours--which for me, is pretty good. I ate some breakfast, I squared my shoulders, I went to my computer and I got on with it. And I got a few creative things done. Not everything I needed to, but some things. It's a small victory, but I'll take it!
Love,
The Fat Chick
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