Now I KNOW I'm sexy

Monday, May 24, 2010

Many times, in the deep dark past, I let a number on a scale tell me each day whether or not I was sexy.  Goal weight?  Sexy.  10 pounds down?  Sexy!  Same as yesterday? Not sexy.  Up ten pounds? Never having sex again evar!  For so long, I stood on that little device and it would determine how I felt about my sex appeal for the day.  And it seemed to me that other people responded in kind.  When I was thinner, others seemed to find me sexy.  When I was heavier, not so much.  But in hindsight, I realize that was some fairly shoddy reasoning.  If I've learned anything at all in my years of research on diet, exercise, weight and health, I've learned that correlation is not the same thing as causation.  Just because two things happen at the same time, does not mean that one of those things caused the other.

With many years of experience (and expensive therapy) behind me, I've conceived of an alternate explanation for my thinner is sexier experience.  When I felt sexier, I was more confident.  I felt full of joy and power.  I swayed my hips.  I wore the tight dress.  I wore red lipstick.  I laughed more.  Is it any wonder that other people perceived me as more sexy? 

So it follows, doesn't it, that if I felt sexier when I was thinner, then I needed to lose weight to feel sexy.  Doesn't it?  DOESN'T IT?

Well, sort of.  I mean, that's one way to go about it--a pretty stressful and unreliable way to go about it.  Since those bad old days, I've found another way.  Instead of letting a number on a scale determine whether I felt sexy, I just decided that I was sexy.  Whatever my weight, I felt full of joy and power.  I swayed my hips.  I wore the tight dress.  I wore the red lipstick.  I laughed more.  I knew I was sexy, and lo and behold, other people knew I was sexy too.

That's why I love this Yay! Scale (invented by my friend, the amazing Marilyn Wann).  As you can see by the readout above, the scale has confirmed that I am indeed sexy.  My other wonderful friend Kelly Varner took these pictures of me on the Yay! Scale at one of Marilyn's amazing lectures at UCLA.  You can get your very own totally awesome Yay! Scale HERE.

So whatever your scale says,  you decide you feel sexy.  When you feel sexy, you are sexy.  So my dear chicklettes, go out and shake your sexy tailfeathers.

The Fat Chick

Big Girls Get Some Too

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It's amazing how many people have the idea that fat chicks don't have sex.  Some believe, we're so far from the female ideal fed to us by the media and entertainment industries, that nobody wants to have sex with us.  They believe we sit home every night, eat ice cream and watch Oprah reruns on Tivo.  But my dear little chicklettes, this simply is not the case.  In fact a recent study indicates that fat chicks have sex MORE often than skinny chicks.  You can read about the study HERE.  Ya know, one really interesting thing I discovered, as I researched this study is how the media spun it.  It was actually very difficult to find a link to this study that wasn't coupled with somebody's opinion.  A lot of these opinions were fairly insulting to fat chicks.  Some said that fat chicks had more sex because they have poor impulse control and couldn't say no.  Others said that fat chicks feel bad about themselves and needed sex to feel better.  Others simply said that the fat chicks lied about how much sex they were having.  None of these opinions about sex and fat chicks had any basis in scientific research--they were pure conjecture.  But it is amazing what lengths the media and entertainment industries will go to in order to further the "thin is sexy" concept.  Even in light of the study I referenced in my previous blog post which showed that many, many men prefer bigger chicks, many in the media assume and report that fat chicks are sluts or the study is wrong.

Puhleese!  We know that fat chicks are having sex because they are powerful, beautiful and sexy.  They are sexberries--round, ripe and luscious.  So if you've got a little extra junk in the trunk, or a few well-placed rolls, so what?  You're gorgeous and you can get some sweet, sweet lovin if you choose to!  Don't let anybody ever tell you different.

The Fat Chick

Sexberry Series Part two.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Well, I'm happily nomming all those strawberries and I have to say they are delicious.  And after a little googling I found a study conducted by some scientist-type-guys that show that strawberries are actually good for your sex drive (check HERE).  So I'm downing strawberries (in the form of strawberry shortcake) in large doses.  This is an experiment, you see.  I'm just trying to confirm, on a scientific basis, if what the science geeks say is true.

Now there are those among you (you know who you are) who might suggest that eating a lot of strawberry shortcake might make me rounder AND less attractive to the opposite sex.  And I'll say "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BUSTER!"  Who says guys don't like round girls?  Some recent surveys on the subject have produced some extremely interesting results.  It seems when presented with pictures of tankini clad cuties, most dudes went for the size 12 or the size 14 girls.  Yup.  The trim, toned, size 8 got the lowest scores.  When it comes to hitting fashion magazines, we big girls might not win the day.  But apparently, when it comes being the one boys want to hit the sheets with, we big girls got it going on!  Read about it HERE.

So are you letting fat phobia stunt your sex life?  Are you on a crazy diet because you think men only like size 0 women?  Are you aware you are reading a blog when you could be EATING CHOCOLATE?  I've often said that healthy is as healthy does.  And you know what, sexy is as sexy does too.  It's like magic: decide you are sexy and POOF you are!  Enjoy my Lieblings.

'Scuse me, but I need to put a little more real whipped cream on my shortcake, I mean research.

The Fat Chick


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

It's so funny how the mind works isn't it?  This week I went to the Farmer's market in Monrovia and picked up some of the sweetest, juiciest and most luscious strawberries you ever saw.  And I thought, 'those strawberries are SEXY!'  The idea of equating strawberries with sex is hardly new.  Add a little candlelight and whipped cream and well, one thing will lead to another, ya know?  But what struck me this week is that although strawberries are healthy, they aren't skinny.  And if we used skinny terminology on strawberries, they don't sound good at all.  Toned, thin, strong, skinny, trim strawberries?  Yuck!  What those strawberries were is ripe.  And ripe is sexy.

So instead of thinking of myself in weight-driven, glossy, model terms, I'm thinking of myself in terms of fruit.  This week, I'm a sexberry.  I'm round, full, ripe, juicy, sweet, and luscious, honey.  And I'm just a tiny bit tart just to keep things interesting.  So you just keep an eye on this blog.   You never know what will turn up.

The Fat Chick